3 Lessons Teddy the Cockapoo has Taught Me.
If like me you have pets, you find that each individual one teaches you something. In this case, it was my crazy cockapoo boy Teddy. Teddy came into our lives last summer after camping in the New Forest. We had been discussing getting a dog and we first met Teddy on a walk with his owner, a lady who spent most her time in a wheelchair. My Daughter fell in love with him instantly and his owner mentioned she was going to sell him as she couldn’t meet his needs. Puppy dog eyes ensued from both Teddy and my Daughter. We agreed to take him and pick him up from the lady in London. Where we ready for a dog? Where we ready for a boy in the house?
Of course, we were. The wee man has taught me three key lessons;
- It’s okay to have emotions
- I do have space in my heart to love again and
- The house may be a mess but we’re happy
Having a young puppy makes you feel so many emotions at the same time, love, contentment, companionship, annoyance, frustration and anger. This was a minefield for me as I have been on Prozac for the last ten years and had pretty much been numb to my own emotions. He makes me laugh and he makes me cry and when he’s doing laps around the lounge he annoys the hell out of me. I have come off Prozac and am working my way identifying each one, one deep breath at a time.
Following my ex’s betrayal (twice), I was not letting anyone into my heart again. I really didn’t believe I could love again until I saw Teddy’s dark brown eyes. It’s hard to tell a dog off that melts your heart when you look at him. In the morning, he lies all doe-eyed on my bed watching me get ready to leave. For the first few months, this was hard and he was not used to being on his own. I hated leaving him and so I got a two-way camera, which I still use occasionally to check on him. Although I am getting better! I love him so much and was in pain when he got attacked by a large dog in Alice Holt Woods but I am trying not to rush in every time he flinches when a large dog towers over him. It’s hard not to return a dog’s unconditional and devout love for you. You want to protect them as much as they do you.
Finally, Teddy is a very intelligent boy and gets bored quickly so if he finds it, he shreds it, chews it, bin dives or counter surfs. So when you get in, you never quite know what you are going to find. He’s been especially stealth at getting hold of shoes that have been hidden. At this moment in time, typing this blog a tissue has been shredded in the hallway, dog toys are cast around the lounge and Teddy is sprawled out. I’m itching to tidy it all up but I’ll know as soon as I do or within 24 hours it will back to the same. It’s extra cleaning but I don’t care. He’s worth every extra minute of it and once he grows up a bit more the mess will be less.
With betrayal and loss over the last four years in far more abundance that I would ever wish on anyone, it took a four-legged, cockapoo called Teddy to teach me to feel, love and chill. So for now, deep breath, sweep up, have cuddles and repeat.
(Image by @kira_steward. See more on Instagram)