Be True to Who you are!

Be True to Who you are!

Every single second is an opportunity to change your life, because in any moment you can change the way you feel.
— Rhonda Byrne
 

I get approached by a lot of people who aren't happy because they don't feel they can be themselves, that they aren't or won't be accepted even by those closest to them, this often includes their spouses, siblings and closest of friends. My response is normally:  be true to who you are and the rest will follow.  

Often when talking to these people it's because they feel that if they were honest about who they are and what they like they will be alone. This often leads them to feel trapped in relationships, and in a couple of instances leads to extreme behaviours in order to belong. Behaviours I myself was once guilty of doing, behaviours I needed to make myself feel complete. Behaviours that were often derogatory to my well-being. I had a hole to fill and I was going to find a way to fill it. In some instances those that approach me are doing the same, often through intense relationships, the need to sleep with others, text others or extreme forms of sexual pleasure. 

Too often I have advised in the past to this set of people they need to be true to who they are, accept and celebrate their differences, it's not until recently that I have started to actually heed my own advice and even then I needed help to do so. We need, to be honest with people and understand what makes ourselves happy, angry, sad, anxious. What our beliefs and values are whilst recognising that not everyone will agree with us, so we need to be open-minded and listen to one another. Not everyone will be accepting and positive about our individualistic traits, to be honest, if a person can now, will not or does not accept you honestly question whether that person needs to be in your life. If they do not part ways, if they do then minimise the interaction. Clear out the negativity.

Like these friends, family members and strangers that sit and talk with me, I have learnt to be me and taken on the journey, those that have accepted that change is required have been far more successful, for that resitenat to change it has taken longer. It is a learning curve and it doesn't end you are never too old to learn or make changes. I recognise behaviours now in people that I would have previously taken as a personal attack as part of their personality. I am more open and willing to let people in. I have more respect for myself and less likely to get into relationships with belittling and degrading behaviour towards myself. I used to hate myself so much I often believed that I deserved it. To those people who used to thrive on my self-loathing to feel better about themselves, get lost out of my life and take a long hard look at yourselves, you are no longer invited in, the law of attraction can cause havoc with your life. Be careful of what and who you invite in.

I personally believe that if we were all the same, life would very dull and we should celebrate out differences, sometimes it will be hard to find your tribe of fellow believers, sometimes you will feel caged.  Remember you are not alone in your journey and there are those who will be there to support you.  Without the support of the great people I have met over the last year, I would not be where I am today and I help those who feel restricted by society perceptions. I would not be able to work with them to find themselves, recognise when certain behaviours are only acceptable in certain 'safe' places or where they may need further help. I would not have found me again and made the changes I have made to date and recognises the changes I still need to make. So my Lovelies, be true to who you are & the rest will follow.

What reading "The Year of Living Danishly" taught me

What reading "The Year of Living Danishly" taught me

Can We Truly be Tolerant of Others?

Can We Truly be Tolerant of Others?

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