New Chapter? Lose the Fear!
Life is full of new beginnings, new opportunities and new starts, from the first day of school, to the move to university, from moving in with your partner to getting married, even the changes after a separation, divorce or death of loved one, means that we have to start something anew.
People deal with these a number of ways, to curl up in a ball and try and ignore what is happening, go with the flow, enjoy every second and those that do a mixture of all of these. I have just hit one of those milestones that often cause parents the most upset - becoming an empty nester, and I am going to be honest with you, I found this harder that the upheaval of separation from my Daughter's father and I have cried more than any other time in my life, even the passing of loved ones extremely dear to my heart. It has been one rollercoaster of a ride. I know from talking to the Sisterhood, I am not alone in this. The one thing that has surprised me however is where the support has come from.
Those that know me, know I have a very close relationship with my Daughter, it has been the two of us since 2006 and often before that despite being in a family unit, together we would going on adventures into the Welsh Rainforest, giggling over playing in the wash baskets, exploring snowdon and rock caves, jelly fish stings, puffin spotting, castle hopping and dragon slaying. We have been through her Father leaving twice and doing the complete opposite of his explanation, the loss of mentors, grandparents and great-grandparents, we’re team and its not often you see one without the other until now. Our last big adventure together was moving to Madrid for a job role and the opportunity to work on the Worlds Largest Biomass Plant and study A’level abroad. Now however we are embarking on two separate journeys, her at University and me without her around.
For a few months prior to her move date I was starting to get agitated and restless, my baby was off to university, would she cope, would she be okay without Teddy, (our cockapoo), what if anything happens, what if….. I was getting myself wound up and in a knot of anxiety, and yes this had a knock on effect on my ability to manifest and situations escalated as I wound myself up more and more, deeper and deeper, it felt like life was crumbling down around me. I wasn’t sure how I would cope. She moved, I survived and life continued, it was only temporary. In fact it was harder when she came back to Madrid for a few days to see her leave again as I continued with the Project I am currently assisting on. Don’t get me wrong, there have been tears and sessions in bed, (I’m currently sat here typing this and crying with Eat Pray Love playing in the background), however its been rare being releasing experience also. I have spent the last 18 years being so strong for my Daughter, in order to give her the best chance in life that I haven’t given myself the time to grieve the losses or rejoice in the joy and miracles, as I believed showing one ounce of emotion, it would all come tumbling out and I would in essence have an emotional breakdown, (even for a coach it an ongoing journey), I haven’t and I’m still here
Yes, change hurts especially as one chapter comes to end to allow another one to start, give yourself time to grieve, it may hurt for a while, however life continues once you lose the fear and move on with love.
It’s hard to remember - everything is temporary the phases you go from awakening, to the challenges we experience on the way, until the final goal is achieved and you start on the next adventure and the next chapter for both myself and my daughter as it will be for you, whether like me you have become an empty nester, you’ve recently become single or even retired. Look on each stage with adventure and joy in your heart and you will see that even on what appears to be the darkest day, there is always light at the end of the tunnel and it is only temporary. Take a few deep breathes in for five and out for five, meditate, exercise and do activities that feed your soul.