A Rose by Any Other Name

A Rose by Any Other Name

One of the first things that happen to us is that we are named. A name that defines us, whilst some embrace a name, others change it to something else.   Some names are creative, some cause dread and fear.  The vibration and frequency of your name holds immense potential and power.

Our name is our identity, an identity that we have to fight for the minute we are born, society is full of authority figures, individuals, accepted societal norms from laws, to media, telling us we are not good enough, insignificant, trying to shape our lives in certain ways. Overtime you begins to accept the lies and your forget your innate beauty, strength and innocence and safety. 

A name hold power, in mythical worlds to call a werewolf by its true name, will bring it back to human form.  Do you know what your name truly means? My first name Faye  - means 

Fae, Fay and Faye are all female name variations that derive from the Middle English faie meaning, quite simply, “fairy;” from the Old French fae, itself borrowed from the Medieval Latin fata “the Fates,” plural of fatum meaning “that which is ordained, destiny, fate.” The words are ultimately traced to the prehistoric Proto-Indo-European root *bha- meaning, apropos, “to speak.” The name first appears in the 12th century in connection with Morgan Le Fay, or “Morgan the Fairy,” a magical creature from Celtic folklore, particularly early Welsh mythology, from Geoffrey of Monmouths’s 1150 work, Life of Merlin, but takes up her most popular manifestation as the sorceress of Arthurian legend. The character of Morgan Le Fay would later become a favorite among 19th century Victorian writers and artists.

Whilst Danuta means "Little Dear ", are individuals with this name are often philosophical and spiritual. Surnames (family names) will often have a meaning and can in some instances have a wealth of history attached to them.  Unfortunately it is difficult to find the history behind  it where as the English surnames I have been known by often have an abundance of information. 

I have always loved all things fairies and Arthurian, it feels like home. I had Victoria Plumb curtains as a child and to this day I love anything mythical. The French meaning takes this further to mean Loyalty and belief. I have been accused of being too loyal to my own detriment. A Faye is 

  • Independent
  • Individualistic
  • Ambitious
  • Strong-willed
  • Inventive
  • Successful

How true are you to your personality and name traits? Do you embrace them or run away from them. If you run away, why? I changed my name once at that time I was trying to run away from something I had done that was 100% against my beliefs and values, I had not stood my ground and I did not like the person I had become, I was struggling to get a job in my chosen career path, at the time, to the reluctance of my foreign surname.

Another name that defines us is our surname, it is one of belonging to our tribe, our family. I have gone officially by two in this lifetime and by three others also. When I first officially changed it, I was told "well done you're really one of us", other felt betrayed by my name change.  I was always being told I was more an  X than a Y. 

The last name that often defines us is a nickname, mine I always felt was unjustified, as I was emotional and would (still do) at things that make me happy, sad and all warm and fuzzy. My nickname did not take into account I am an empath and pick up on the emotions around me, it portrayed me as someone who was false and this couldn't be further from the truth. I normally come with the caveat "only ask Faye, if you are prepared to hear the honest truth" when new people are introduced to the family. I am not always diplomatic with family and friends .  It was a nickname that was demoralizing, and I chose to overpower who I was to the point I wouldn't show emotions (this was an obvious sign of weakness), often to the detriment of my physical and mental health, since then have I learnt showing vulnerability is strength. It's been a journey.

It was no wonder I lost who I was, my identity,  I was never allowed to be just me.

From my childhood, I have documents and certificates  with different names on as it was easier for adults to make me all inclusive rather than explain the situation and to date this still occurs. I often wonder how they keep up with what story they have told who.

I realized a few years ago that my name change bothered me and I was not being true to me. I needed to face up to what I had done and who I was. I had a successful career under an English Surname but when people knew my heritage the usual racial stereotyping occurred.  I changed my name back a couple of years ago, but often you find o I do not refer to my surname unless I need to on legal documents and I love the fact that many of my Spanish colleagues simply refer to me as Faye Danuta as now do many of the subcontractor on a Project I work on.

Along the way I lost who I was, what I stood for, I like many others, had become, the mother, daughter, partner, wife or sister of another person, never was I Faye.  I was choosing to believe the Labels other people were giving me, rather than defining myself   -   I am Faye, Faye Danuta.  I choose to no longer to be defined by my surname or relationship to another person but to stand out , to stand up and be counted.  How about you?

If you feel lost and would like to find yourself again, due to an abusive relationship, becoming an empty-nester or waking up to the reality that you are not living in your soul space, then please feel free to get in touch and I will share with you the tools I used to step back into my own space, and the power in doing so. 


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